Minot State University students and faculty in uproar over new socially-distanced parking policy
Minot State University is in a tizzy. The campus has recently released a new social distancing guideline and students are enraged. Minot State announced that socially distanced parking will now be enforced across campus to ensure that spray from the undercarriages of cars don’t migrate to others’ vehicles, causing drivers to strike up salty conversations.
Each car must be separated by a parking spot, which is now marked with a lawn chair, making the already slim student parking scarce. To make matters worse, drivers of red cars can only park next to green cars, and vice versa, freezing school spirit in its tracks.
Minot State students are so strongly opposed to socially-distanced parking that they are sending mass e-mails to administration and demanding they make a U-turn on their decision; some aren’t even bothering to follow the new rule.
“I’m not going to waste a perfectly good parking spot just so my car will be socially distanced from someone else’s. I don’t understand it,” said a MSU student who wished to remain anonymous.
One student has taken it into her own hands.
“I have started sleeping in my car so I don’t have to lose my parking spot,” said Kylee Cook.
Cook also plans on recruiting more students to occupy the lawn chairs in a tailgate protest.
Some student groups are rallying by parking in faculty and staff parking spots, accelerating the tension between students and their professors.
Pranks are now the new norm. Last week, the broadcasting and professional communication professors set up a break room for coffee in the Academic Support Center, mocking the students by placing Matchbox cars at every other desk. Who knows how the students will retaliate?
Others want to boycott classes all together.
“It’s outrageous! I don’t think I will go to any of my classes if I can’t park. What’s the point in going if I’ll be late anyway?” said another MSU student.
In order to pull the emergency brake on the rift between students and teachers, the school’s administration team released a statement about the consequences of those who do not follow the new rule, and it is severe.
Those who refuse to follow the socially-distanced parking protocol will no longer be eligible for Soup Tuesdays.
With so many Minot State students in an uproar about the new socially-distanced parking, many are wondering what administrators will do about it. Will they risk the wrath of their students or will they rescind the new protocol? How much longer will this go on until Minot State University collapses completely into chaos? All for the sake of parking.